“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service.”   — Oprah Winfrey

“Stand up straight, dear.” “Don’t mumble.” “No one finds that frown attractive.” “Be a lady and stick to your principles.”

My mother’s words still ring in my ears. Through my childhood, teens, and college years, her advice and her role model of grace, kindness, and quiet strength were instrumental in preparing me for an effective and successful life. I had had no idea, however, that her advice was also preparing me to be a dog trainer!

The animals on our farm were also my teachers. In their own way, they taught me the true nature of power and influence. The Queen of the Herd, the Lead Horse, and the Top Dog all got there without serious fighting or confrontation. Instead they used body language, boundaries, focus, and quiet determination to achieve and hold their positions of power. Had my mother been talking to them, too?

When I started my dog training business over twenty years ago, I did house calls. It was usually women who sought out my help because they were being overwhelmed by the family dog. They were either mad and yelling, or being overly permissive and smothering which made them ineffectual and the dogs ran their lives. Because these were house calls, I also got to observe their kids. Invariably, the women that could not control their dogs, could not control their kids.

Something started to click in my brain. The very skills these women needed to control their dogs were the SAME ones they needed to control their kids… and probably other parts of their lives as well.

• Don’t yell; stay calm
• Set the boundaries and then enforce them
• Be a leader, not a friend, a follower or a doormat
• Power is achieved through control, not confrontation (fights and confrontation in the animal world are the exception, not the rule)
• Leadership is about being effective, not being loud (the dog doing the barking and the woman doing the yelling are not powerful or effective; the leaders are the quiet ones that simply get the job done)
• If you don’t set your boundaries, no one respects you – not your peers, or your dog.

Because the vast majority of the dog-owning families leave dog responsibilities to us women, literally thousands of you have come to me over the years – feeling powerless, frustrated and defeated. You assume that dog training requires either masculine strength and bravado (which you do not possess) or endless cookies and treats (which you are reluctant to use or have not solved your issues). You are desperate for help.

I am passionate about helping women and saving dogs. If you have a dog that seems beyond control, don’t give up! Read this book. Your dog is not impossible; he’s just confused because you are not communicating in his language. He ignores your frustration and yelling because he sees it as weakness, not strength. Learn the secrets of calm, effective power and leadership in this book and you will be amazed at the turnaround in your dog. Try it on your kids, your husbands and your co-workers while you’re at it! What makes LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH special is that it points out the profound parallels between canine behavior and that of human beings. We are all connected! The nature of power, how it is achieved quietly, and how clever leadership uses that power to influence (not force) the behavior of others is the real message of LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH. Dog training becomes a metaphor for life!

By focusing on a woman’s special challenges in dog training, and revealing her hidden strengths, LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH can help you discover your Inner Leader, train a dog that will make you and your family proud and, ultimately, give you a road map for getting more of what you want in life.

Enjoy.

www.lipstickandtheleash.com

The Story of Piggy the Cow

One of my earliest childhood memories growing up on our dairy farm was that of Piggy—one of my father’s Jersey cows. Piggy was fat, hence the name. She was so calm, letting me pet her and brush her—even ride her! But most importantly, Piggy was the undisputed Queen of the Herd.

I spent countless hours around and on Piggy—what else do you do when you grow up on a ranch and have to pick your playmates from an assortment of farm animals? We were buds. At feeding time, the tractor would pull up to the feeding trough, and our ranch hand would throw the hay in for the entire herd. All the young heifers and other cows would come running, crowd around the hay and start eating.

Piggy would not run to the hay. She sauntered. Why rush? She was calm, cool and confident—almost presidential in a bovine way. As she drew near the hay, the other cows would scatter—making way for Queen Piggy. If they lingered a bit too long, Piggy would drop her head and neck, give a low, throaty “MOO,” and the girls would obediently back off. If they didn’t, she’d give a subtle but well-placed bump of her substantial shoulder and send one or two of them flying. Then Piggy ate her fill.

I did not realize until recently the incredible lessons I learned from Piggy about power and influence! Piggy was, without question, the most powerful cow in our herd, but she achieved that rank and position quietly—without being loud or aggressive. She did not rattle her horns, get in anyone’s face, or engage in daily fights with her pasture mates. She did not use physical brutality to intimidate. Instead, she used quiet confidence and clever control. And every time I think back to Piggy and her ways, I realize something new. Now I know why I could ride Piggy and not the others. Piggy was too confident to be skittish! She was, as they say in the South, “as cool as the otha’ side o’ the pilla.” What a role model. I use her story today, as I teach dog owners the secrets of quiet power and control over their dogs, and she is always in my thoughts.

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.

—Margaret Thatcher

Lessons from My Mother

I love being a strong woman. I come from a long line of them… In many ways, my mother taught me more than anyone about training dogs, even though she never trained one herself… My mother knew how to control my dad, too. Now that was an art form! The dogs I train today remind me a lot of my father: charismatic, charming and full of fun, but smart and strong-willed and used to getting their way. My father was handsome, successful and driven toward his goals. He was a tough customer. Mom knew what good dog trainers know… Read more about it in LIPSTICK and the LEASH!

Without being sexist, I believe there are some special skills that we as women possess, which enable us to effectively control and influence others—including our dogs!

A Woman’s Kryptonite®—Stay Away From It!

Do you remember the comic strip and TV hero Superman? He could soar like a bird, stop a charging locomotive, leap tall buildings in a single bound, and was the larger-than-life defender of truth, justice and The American Way. He was invincible. Unless…he was exposed to a mysterious element known only as “Kryptonite.” Kryptonite rendered the superhero weak and helpless. Superman had his Kryptonite, and we Superwomen have ours…see my list in LIPSTICK and the LEASH!

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I am passionate about helping women and saving dogs. If you have a dog that seems beyond control, don’t give up! Read this book. Your dog is not impossible; he’s just confused because you are not communicating in his language. He ignores your frustration and yelling because he sees it as weakness, not strength. Learn the secrets of calm, effective power and leadership in this book, and you will be amazed at the turnaround in your dog. Try it on your kids, your husband and your coworkers while you’re at it!

Dog training becomes a metaphor for life!